Confessions of a Paper Bag Princess

Do you ever sit and wonder how you got here? I certainly do. How did I go from paper bag to princess? Because that’s how it feels…

Once upon a time…

Like all good stories, mine started in a small village. Chalfont St Peter to be exact. Where!! I hear you say! Well, CSP (as we called it) is in Buckinghamshire, just outside London, towards the West. It’s a beautiful place – trust me or Google it. And it’s expensive.

But like all good villages, this one had a Council Housing Estate. Ok, so I didn’t actually grow up in a housing estate but I did grow up in a council house. A single-parent family, my mum, big sister and me.

The back story

Like all good stories, there is always a bad guy – am I right?? Enter stage left – the step dad. I won’t go into too much detail, but yes, we had an abusive step-dad. My mum cleaned houses to make ends meet. Life was tough at the bottom of the ladder. There were constant reminders that we were bottom of the ladder too – the village, school, community.

Luckily my sister and I had some amazing friends growing up. They took us under their wings and helped keep us safe. They gave us opportunities we otherwise wouldn’t have had. For all of this I am incredibly grateful.

It’s not all bad news

To be honest I wouldn’t change anything about my childhood. I learnt a lot and I laughed a lot. The tears taught me more about myself than most people get to know about themselves. It taught me resilience but also boundaries. It taught me things I am prepared to compromise with and things that I am not prepared to compromise with.

I really need to get to the point

What I guess I am trying to say is – how did I go from a two-bed council house in the most sought after postcode in Great Britain – to married with kids and living in New Zealand? Believe me, none of this was planned!

I came to NZ on a one year visa. Got a great job and extended said visa. Found a great guy and applied for Residency. Married said guy and had babies. I’m now a citizen. Married, complete with mortgage. 2.3 children (I say 2.3 because three of them are furry babies. My life is amazing – I love so many aspects of it. I consider myself a princess of luck.

That doesn’t stop me wondering how a girl from the wrong side of the tracks ended up here. Literally sat on a couch in a waiting room while my daughter dances in her Grade One Ballet exam. I have an amazing son going for his next belt in Karate. I have a growing business which I love and am passionate about. My husband is incredible. I might bust his balls sometimes but at the end of the day, if he could just manage his stress levels, he’d be pretty close to perfect to me.

Bit of a revelation

There is a point of all this. And I thank you for still reading.

Since starting Cute Cuddles, I have worked at a lot of markets. I love markets – I get to meet lots of lovely people and hear some fabulous stories of parenting triumphs.

BUT, and here it is. I am missing a lot of the weekend actives. I missed my daughters last ballet competition where she came 2nd. I missed my son’s karate most weekend and his karate grading. I miss a lot of friends birthday activities. I even missed my best friends son’s birthday. My son’s first paintball experience. Also my son’s first go-karting experience.

I feel like I’m missing a lot. I set up Cute Cuddles to be there for my family and yet – I am missing more then I am sharing with them.

In conclusion

I have made the very tough decision to cut back on markets. I will still do as many as I can. But at the end of the day, I feel like I need to be with my children more at weekend.

I grow up away from my family because of how life went. Which leaves me knowing that I don’t want to be like that.

I am still incredible passionate about Cute Cuddles and will continue to bring you beautiful made baby items. And I shall continue to share my life and parenting trials and tribulations.

For now I shall sign off. Until next time – stay true to yourself and keep smiling!